Stoicism is not just a philosophy, but a path to happiness and purpose in life. “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius offers timeless wisdom and insights still relevant today. While it was written a couple of thousand years ago, most things are still relevant in it because the human condition hasn’t changed. Our fears, desires, hopes, strengths, and weaknesses are still the same. Like everyone, I struggle with many of these things to varying extents but regularly reminding myself of the following principles helps bring me back to a better state of mind, when I veer off. What follows is the distillation of some of that knowledge and my interpretation of the Stoic principles that I like to remind myself of.
Define your guiding principles
Your guiding principles are the values you want to live in your life. They are the deciding factors in the decisions you make throughout your life. Whenever you need to make a major decision in your life, your guiding principles should be like the road signs at a crossroads, pointing you in the right direction and guiding you to your destination.
Think about what kind of life you want to live. What are the tradeoffs you will be willing to make to stay the course? Do not pick principles that “sound good” to you. Pick the ones that you are willing to choose while sacrificing other things, if need be. Write down these principles and read them often.
For example, you might pick honesty as your guiding principle but are you willing to suffer a large financial loss by being honest? If not, this isn’t your current guiding principle. This might be an aspirational principle but then you have to work towards it, free yourself from financial slavery by living as simply as you can.
Stoicism suggests several principles that it deems as worthy but I will leave it up to you to read and decide for yourself.
So, what will make your life a worthy one?
Understand your mind
Understand yourself. Understand your weaknesses and your strengths. Understand how you think, rationalize, and even deceive yourself. Become comfortable alone with just your thoughts. There are dark aspects deep down your mind, venture into the unlit corners of your mind and get familiar with the demons hiding there. Embrace the lonely moments with just your thoughts when all the disappointments, regrets, perceived unfairness, and what-ifs boil up to the surface.
What makes you angry, happy, sad, excited, miserable, emotional and fearful? You should know all that.
Only once you have charted the uncharted landscape of your mind, you will know your trigger points. Only then you will be able to work towards behaving in a way that doesn’t surprise you and controlling your impulses. Then you can make peace with the disappointments and regrets lurking in your mind. Accept those emotions instead of hiding them. Then figure out how to live the rest of your life.
Do not carry your or someone else’s mistakes with you
Have you made a mistake? This surely isn’t the first time and this won’t be the last time you will make one. Learn from it and forgive yourself. Do not burden yourself with that mistake for any longer. It will not help you to go back to thinking about the mistake again and again. If you stray from the right path, forgive yourself and make your way back as soon as you realize.
Just like you should forgive your own mistakes, you should do the same for others. If someone else has done a harmful act against you, consider it their mistake and forgive them. After all, you have made many such mistakes as well. Perhaps some that you don’t even know of.
Do not walk the path of life while dragging a chest full of mistakes and hurt behind you. It’ll be a much less enjoyable journey.
Remember your mortality (Memento mori)
It might seem odd to remember death when you are on the mountaintop of your achievements but remember that you are mortal. It’ll diminish your pride and give you humility. It might seem morbid but remembering that you have a limited life will help you put good and bad acts in perspective. Nothing will last forever.
People run from the thoughts of their mortality. They feel awkward thinking about their death. But only once you embrace the fact that you might die at any moment, do you realize the meaninglessness of many trivial matters in your life. Neither your joy nor your misery will last forever (mercifully).
Act in your life as if any day could be your last because it really could be. Would you engage in petty quarrels and aggravate minor grievances if you just had a few days to live? Would you continue to hold a grudge against others or forgive them? Would you waste the precious time left being jealous and envious?
Remembering your mortality sets you free of many chains that hold others and cause worry. The good and the bad will end. Sooner than you imagine.
Do not fear death or change
Fearing death is unreasonable. There is no reason to fear the inevitable. It’ll come for me, you, and everyone else. Think about how many people who were once the most powerful in the world have suffered this inevitability. How many Kings, Emperors, Generals, Philosophers, and Scientists have already been claimed by Death?
The best we can do is to make peace with our mortality and live our lives fully because our time is limited and we don’t know how long we have to live.
Just like death, change is inevitable. Humans are very uncomfortable in conditions of uncertainty but if you embrace change, stop fearing it, and start adapting to it, you can live a happier life. Remember, any change that happens will not last forever for you.
Do not wish and hope for the impossible
If you can’t control what other people do, then why are you so affected if someone does something contrary to what you want? Are they under any compulsory obligation to do what you want? No. Then don’t expect them as if they must live their life per your wishes.
Is it possible that bad people should not exist in this world? No. Then it is unreasonable to wish or hope for that to happen.
Do not wish or hope for things that are not under your control. Because if you do so, you will be under the control of those who can grant you these wishes.
Do not trade your freedom by wanting things that only others can grant you.
The present is the only thing you can lose
We often tend to live our lives either reminiscing about the past or thinking about the future. Neither of those actions is useful. Otherwise, we just go through our days in auto-pilot mode, doing the same things day in and day-out without much thought. Meanwhile, we are losing the only thing that we own, the present moment.
Don’t waste your present in imaginations of the future that causes you anxiety and creating mental futuristic scenarios that are most often wrong.
Fame and Praise is short-lived
What is the worth of praise? Is a good act not good if it’s not praised? When you have done a good act, why do you wish and hope that you’d be praised for it?
Do good for the sake of doing good not for praise. If you are expecting praise and appreciation in return then will you not do it if there was no one to see or know about it?
How long will the praise and the fame that you seek will live? It’ll die with you and the people whom you wish to praise you. Why waste your life away for this short-lived thing?
Change your opinion to change your life
Hurt, pain, and agitation often come from your opinion of the events in your life. Change how you look at events (good or bad) in your life and your outlook on life will change. Hardship becomes the way and helps you become stronger and better if only you’d allow it.
If you only think of what you don’t have then you will never have enough. There will always be someone who has more than you. There will always be more things you can have. Instead of thinking about what you don’t have, think about what you have. Be thankful for it and imagine what if you didn’t have that.
Give others the benefit of the doubt
Think carefully about where the other person is coming from when you listen to them. Give them the benefit of the doubt and do not make assumptions about their intentions without reason. You will save yourself from plenty of anguish by doing this simple act.
Do not be too hasty in passing judgment about the acts of other people.
Act with purpose and consideration
Do everything with a purpose. Ask yourself why you are doing something. When you find yourself attracted to things of common interest, consider what is the value of that thing to you. Then consider your mortality; the meaninglessness of fame and praise; and the inevitability of change.
Enjoy the prosperity but don’t become a slave to it
Enjoy the prosperity that you have. Make use of it. But do not start to rely on it. Remember that everything changes. Remember that money is not in your control. It can come and go because of external factors.
If you start living life as if you will always have money then you will start to become a slave to money and thus a slave to those who can impact the amount of money you have.
One is wealthy when whatever they have is sufficient for them
In a multi-part series, I have selected my favorite passages from Meditations.
