The best way of avenging yourself is not to become like [the wrong-doer]. (Book 6–6)
Would you stoop to the same level as the person who has seemingly done you wrong? No, that is not the way of a rational person. The best way to avenge yourself is not to do that. Be better. Tell yourself that you will not do a similar act to your fellow human beings.
When you hast been compelled by circumstances to be disturbed in a manner, quickly return to yourself, and do not continue out of tune longer than the compulsion lasts for you will have more mastery over the harmony by continually recurring to it. (Book 6–11)
We all make mistakes and you will continue to make some mistakes. Aim to have fewer of them over time. But when you do stray from the path guided by your ruling principles, do not stay on it much longer like a person who is being carried away on a carriage by someone else. No, instead leave that path and walk back to your own path. Returning to conducting yourself in the right manner repeatedly would strengthen your behavior.
[…] Just in the same way ought we to act all through life, and where there are things which appear most worthy of our approbation, we ought to lay them bare and look at their worthlessness and strip them of all the words by which they are exalted. For outward show is a wonderful perverter of the reason, and when you are most sure that you are employed about things worth your pains, it is then that it cheats you most. […] (Book 6–13)
When you feel compelled that something is worthwhile and valuable, first ponder what is it. Strip it of what others think of it. See it for what it really is. Is it just a shiny thing that holds no value but what other people ascribe to it? Or a position that comes with chains? It is easy to fall prey to things of outward attraction.
[…] What then is worth being valued? To be received with clapping of hands? No. Neither must we value the clapping of tongues; for the praise which comes from the many is a clapping of tongues. […] (Book 6–16)
Should you put value in praise? Either verbally or with clapping? No, this is not something worth valuing. For if you do things to please the crowd, you would become a slave to their opinion. What is the worth of praise anyway? It is short-lived and so are those who would give it to you.
[…] if we judge only those things which are in our power to be good or bad, there remains no reason either for finding fault with God or standing in a hostile attitude to man. (Book 6–41)
Only things that are in your power can be good or bad. A Stoic is supposed to be indifferent to everything else. So good and bad ends with you. Everything else is external and out of your control. It is part of life. If you live by this then you won’t complain about other people or with God or with nature.
[…] One thing here is worth a great deal, to pass your life in truth and justice, with a benevolent disposition even to liars and unjust men. (Book 6–47)
Follow this and you shall be tranquil and find no fault in others. You are in control of your actions and thoughts. What good would it do to have malice towards those who lie and are unjust?
He who loves fame considers another man’s activity to be his own good, and he who loves pleasure, his own sensations. But he who has understanding considers his own acts to be his own good. (Book 6–51)
Do not be like those who find benefit in the activity of another person for then you will be a slave to their actions and words. Do not be like those who are overly excited by their own sensations for then you would be a slave to them. Understand your own mind and your own actions as that is good for you.
Accustom yourself to attend carefully to what is said by another, and as much as it is possible, be in the speaker’s mind. (Book 6–53)
Think carefully about where is the other person coming from when you listen to them. Give them the benefit of the doubt and don’t assume that they have the same life experience and think the same way as you.
[…] understand however that every man is worth just so much as the things are worth about which he busies himself. (Book 7–3)
Your worth is defined by the things that you spend your life pursuing. So would you spend your life pursuing worthless and unimportant things?
Is any man afraid of change? Why, what can take place without change? What then is more pleasing or more suitable to the universal nature? And can you take a bath unless the wood undergoes a change? Can you be nourished, unless the food undergoes a change? And can anything else that is useful be accomplished without change? Do you not see then that for yourself also to change is just the same, and equally necessary for the universal nature? (Book 7–18)
Why are you so afraid of change? Change is part of nature and of life. Do you refuse the change when it is for seemingly desirable things? Why this hypocrisy and fear then? Do not fear change, embrace it.
When a man has done you any wrong, immediately consider with what opinion about good or evil he has done wrong. For when you have seen this, you will pity him, and will neither wonder nor be angry. […] (Book 7–26)
When someone has done you wrong, think about where they are coming from. What is their opinion of good and evil? What is their ruling principle? For then you would see that they did not have the right principles and thus you would pity them instead of being angry. If you can, help them see the right path but if you can’t, don’t blame or hold a grudge against them.
Think not so much of what you have not as of what you have. Select the best of the things which you have and then reflect how eagerly they would have been sought if you had them not. At the same time, however, take care that you do not through being so pleased with them accustom yourself to overvalue them, so as to be disturbed if ever you should not have them. (Book 7–27)
If you only think of what you don’t have then you will never have enough. There will always be more things that you don’t have. Instead, observe what you do have and be thankful that you do. At the same time, remind yourself not to overvalue your possessions. Be prepared to lose them without mourning the loss.
Wipe out the imagination. Stop the pulling of the strings. Confine yourself to the present. […] (Book 7–29)
All the agitation, nervousness, worries, and anxiousness are created by your imagination. You are spending too much time thinking about the future that has yet to come to pass. You are forgetting to live in the present moment. Stop your mind from pulling these strings and stop pulling your hair. Do not lose the only thing that you have, the present.
Consider yourself to be dead, and to have completed your life up to the present time, and live according to nature the remainder which is allowed you. (Book 7–56)
Leave the past in the past. Now, you get to live the rest of your life as a renewed person with your ruling principles guiding you through what is left of your life.
It is a ridiculous thing for a man not to fly from his own badness, which is indeed possible, but to fly from other men’s badness, which is impossible. (Book 7–71)
You strive to get away from the bad actions of other people and do everything you can to shield yourself from them. But this is impossible. You can’t control what others do. But you can control your opinion about such actions. More importantly, you can control yourself and see to it that your actions are not bad towards anyone else. This is entirely in your control.
When you have done a good act and another has received it, why do you still look for a third thing besides these, as fools do, either to have the reputation of having done a good act or to obtain a return? (Book 7–73)
Once you have done a good act and someone has benefitted from it, that should be enough. Why do you look for praise and appreciation in return? Would you not do that good act if someone weren’t going to praise you? If so then you are doing the act not for the good but for the worthless praise.
What is your favourite passage or part of Stoic Philosophy?
